Saturday, March 31, 2007

8-word poem

Did you
Really think
This would be


Thursday, March 29, 2007

8-word poem

The ironies
Are piling up—
In them.


Wednesday, March 28, 2007

8-word poem

It's okay—
Sometimes things
Just don't
Work out.


Tuesday, March 27, 2007

8-word poem

There's something
In the air.
Isn't that so?


Monday, March 26, 2007

8-word poem

I never
Promised you
A rose garden.



Sunday, March 25, 2007

8-word poem

In Heaven

You were


Saturday, March 24, 2007

8-word poem

The right thing:
It's harder
Than ever.


Yikes! My worst score since I went to Leper Colony Club Med!

I found this poll over at rocketradio, a very entertaining blog recently added to my must-read list.

I always wanted to visit Toronto, after all the Hockey Hall of Fame is there. But after this, I wonder if I wouldn't be run out of town.

Also, my recent experiences in Montreal give me slight pause. There is clearly a divide between the two cities, from what I gather, though this might actually be a Quebec vs. the rest of Canada thing.

I do want to learn French, which while helpful in Montreal may be an obstacle in Toronto, dunno.

Je suis désolé!

You are 57% Toronto!

You're so Montreal! You tell everyone that you're from Toronto because it makes you sound cooler than you really are. You're not fooling anyone with that french accent, honey.

How Toronto Are You?
Create a Quiz

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Friday, March 23, 2007

8-word poem

I've given up
Thinking about
For now.


Thursday, March 22, 2007

So, St. Patrick's Day Is Celebrated in Montreal

My bad! Here I was thinking I would be safe and secure from the drunken rabble and the puking of the green on St. Patty's Day with my Montreal sojourn.

Wrong O'Reilly!

Fact is, St. Patrick's Day was in full bloom last Saturday evening at the Centre Bell (let me translate that for you: that's Bell Center in English). Yes, the consumption of alcohol was at elevated levels, adding a palpable intrigue to the proceedings at hand.

Montreal Canadiens, Toronto Maple Leafs: Two desperate teams with mere points separating them from the final playoff berth.

Roughly half the crowd in the Canadiens' building appeared to be Toronto fans, and they were loud and stoked.

Canadiens fans held their own, with several wearing adulterated Maple Leafs jerseys, featuring mean-spirited inscriptions such as "Can't Buy a Cup Since '67" on the back.

The joint was ROCKING for what more than one news publication referred to as the Canadiens' most important game of the season. The air was thick with - in the words of Captain Lou Albano - "psychedelic pandemonium."

This was the most exciting game I've ever been to, needing a shootout to decide the outcome. It was rough, it was violent - a terrific, bloody fight in the opening minutes of play! - it was hockey.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

8-word poem

A little bad news
Is all it takes.


Tuesday, March 20, 2007

8-word poem

What did
You do
With my despair?


Monday, March 19, 2007

8-word poem

Take a deep breath.

Now take another one.


Sunday, March 18, 2007

8-word poem

The finger
To the moon.
Middle finger.


8-word poem

The right thing:
It's harder than


Saturday, March 17, 2007

8-word poem

A day
Without controversy
Is a day


Friday, March 16, 2007

TV In Montreal

This is what a Montreal TV star looks like. And no, he wasn't a contestant on that new reality show "So You Think You Can Be Lurch," either.

This fellow, whose name I did not catch, was hosting a sports program (pardon, programme) about hockey! Which was quite good, actually.

Hockey is discussed constantly in the media up here, which is not surprising, though I am repeatedly delighted by such a situation.

Last year I saw a program with four middle-aged French speaking men who all looked like they could have been on "Meet the Press" or something similar. They argued passionately and incessantly with each other over the fortunes of the Montreal Canadiens, and though I understood little, I enjoyed every minute of it.

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8-word poem

Can I be

Very good



I wasn't even a Boston fan, but I hate reading things like this. So sad.

Two charcoal grills? Christ.


Thursday, March 15, 2007

8-word poem

I'm very competitive;
I just
Never win.


Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Heading North

Less than a year after my first visit I am once again venturing up to Montreal, Quebec, Canada for a long weekend.

I will be attending the first ever Montreal Zen Poetry Festival. As soon as I saw the attendant verbiage: "words have no meaning," I was sold. What with my interest in short-form poetry (i.e. haiku), and previous dabbling in meditation, I am excited about this event.

Both the Montreal Canadiens and the Toronto Maple Leafs are scrambling to make a playoff berth, so it'll be a great game to take in on Saturday night when they face off against each other at the Centre Bell.

I also hope to meet up with the publishers of Taking the Brim.

And then just kicking around a great city, listening to the slightly raw brand of Montreal French, and trying to remember how to say "chocolat chaud."

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8-word poem

I know it
I feel it.


Tuesday, March 13, 2007

This Is A Blog, Dammit! Get Over Yourself!


Monday, March 12, 2007

iTuneage - recent baker's dozen

1. "Phantom Limb" - The Shins
2. "Alone Again Or" - Calexico with Nicolai Dunger and his band
3. "Too Many People" - Paul McCartney
4. "Theme From Gigantor" - Eugene Raskin & Louis C. Singer
5. "'Well You Know, Mean Gene...'" - A.C.
6. "Sonic Reducer" - Dead Boys
7. "National Anthem Of Nowhere" - Apostle Of Hustle
8. "Superfly" - Curtis Mayfield
9. "Watermelon Man" - The Gun Club
10. "Bad Habits" - Thin Lizzy
11. "Get Ready" - The Temptations
12. "She Caught The Train" - UB40
13. "Ain't Afraid Of Midnight" - John Campbell

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Sunday, March 11, 2007



8-word poem

It was time
To get elegant
Again, methinks.


Saturday, March 10, 2007

8-word poem

Overheard at Popeyes:
"I'm getting
My thoughts

* * *

I know I shouldn't concern myself with such things, but why does 'Popeyes' not have an apostrophe?


Friday, March 09, 2007

8-word poem

My head
Is so
In the game.


Thursday, March 08, 2007


And still redolent
Of alcohol fumes.

Unwilling, yet
To his doughy charms.




And with my poem "A Captain America Pez Dispenser Floating in Brake Fluid" about to be published in the forthcoming issue (#7) of Terra Incognita!

The humanity!

Couldn't it have been frigging Spider-Man?


Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Influential Books I Have Read - And May Just Read Again!

Poet and cool film expert Richard Lopez asked for a list of influential books, which I think I've posted about on this blog before. Here are the results I've dredged up in a search of the Lewd Enlightenment postings.

This list of "Five Books That Mean a Lot to Me" was posted back on June 4, 2005:

Rommel Drives on Deep into Egypt by Richard Brautigan. My favorite book of poetry. The title poem is also one of my favorites.

The Stranger by Albert Camus. A very well-crafted novel, that poignantly suggests man's isolation in the universe. Depressing or freeing? Yes.

Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs. Tight prose, outrageous humor, sickening descriptions of bodily functions, futuristic mayhem, pornographic afterthoughts. A little something for everyone.

The Short-Timers by Gustav Hasford. The book that provided the basis for Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket. Absolutely the most frightening and haunting war book I've ever read.

After Dark, My Sweet by Jim Thompson. Excellent pulp noir with all the right ingredients in place: a mentally unbalanced former boxer, a boozing seductress, a former cop turned small-time crook, and a kidnapping gone awry.

This "5 Books I Would Take to a Deserted Island" list comes from March 18, 2005:

1. Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs – I never tire of reading this book.
2. Rimbaud: Complete Works, Selected Letters – French with English translation, j’adore Rimbaud.
3. Rommel Drives on Deep Into Egypt by Richard Brautigan – Despite the fact that four of the 85 poems collected therein consist only of titles. Wait, maybe because of that fact.
4. The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry – If I’m going to have a bible, let it be this one.
5. The R. Crumb Coffee Table Art Book - Quoth Mr. Natural: "Nov shmoz k'pop."

I know I've read many important books over the years - while simultaneously missing out on even more important ones. But these lists are pretty consistent, not unlike my Top 10 Films list.

Off the top of my head (i.e. I'm too lazy to get up and go look at my bookshelves), I would probably add Demian by Herman Hesse, The Trial by Franz Kafka, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, and perhaps To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. I've read most of these books at least a couple of times.


Tuesday, March 06, 2007


I hate to admit it but the movie Stranger Than Fiction somewhat inspired this purchase - Will Ferrell's character chooses a Stratocaster when he decides to learn to play the guitar.

This is my first actual Fender Strat, in Shoreline Gold (the shoreline is gold?), after playing various cheap knockoffs over the years.

When they re-open Studio 54 this thing will get me in the house band in no time flat.

It is sooo cool.


Monday, March 05, 2007

8-word poem: The I'm Too Tired To Try Doing Things Another Way Story

And if
Doesn't work,
It doesn't


Sunday, March 04, 2007

8-word poem

Another good
Goes coast
To coast.



Saturday, March 03, 2007

The Lewd Enlightenment Meme

Faithful readers will recall the origins of this blog's name.

Question: What would you put in The Book of Lewd Enlightenment?


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Friday, March 02, 2007

What would life be like if it never changed? Installment 6

More thoughts on my Top Ten Life-Changing Albums. Thanks to Eek for beginning the thread that led me to this list.

(Note: Italics indicate my initial response to Eek's challenge; the rest constitutes my further thoughts on the subject).

6. Mott, Mott The Hoople. Kicks off with "All the Way From Memphis," which features one of the greatest honking sax solos of all time, courtesy of Roxy Music's Andy Mackay. The world-weary "being a rock star is not what you think" attitude is sobering, reflective and refreshing.

Mott The Hoople, to my way of thinking, forged the perfect blueprint for a rock and roll band: burn fiercely and briefly before burning out. They stumbled around in obscurity for years before making it big, but once they got their break it was almost immediately over.

Which is sad, naturally, for who knows how much more great music they might have made. On the other hand they mercifully spared their fans a never-ending series of farewell tours. In fact, this quintessential glam rock band has never once regrouped, much to the consternation of fans and more successful artists who cite Mott The Hoople as a major influence including Queen, Roxy Music and The Clash.

Mott (1973) was the band's high point, a vaguely autobiographical rendering of the pitfalls and misconceptions of the fame they struggled to achieve. Lead vocalist/chief songwriter Ian Hunter borrowed equally from Bob Dylan and Little Richard to produce an album of frequently raucous melancholy. If the album gets a little too ruminative, it's well-earned introspection to those who know the band's backstory.

The shades, feather boas, platform boots, Maltese cross-shaped guitar - Mott The Hoople never took any of it seriously. Indeed, Hunter's excellent book, Diary of a Rock & Roll Star, reveals how hard these musicians worked at keeping up the illusion of stardom while simultaneously reaping little actual reward, monetary or otherwise.

It's all documented on Mott (practically the LP version of Hunter's book): songs about groupies ("Whizz Kid"), instruments lost in transit (the aforementioned "All the Way From Memphis"), staggering to the end of a tour and disbanding out of sheer despair ("Ballad of Mott The Hoople"). None of it sounds terribly glamorous the way it is told, ironically, and yet no band could make irony sound so glamorous.

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Thursday, March 01, 2007

Kill the (Instant) Messenger

linzprague (4:43:56 PM): she's on the verge
of either tears or murder