MY INNER VENTRILOQUIST DOLL IS A MAJOR BUZZKILL

Wood not plastic
solid stuffing helps
but I like
a big hole
in the body
not that goddamn
string you pull

I couldn't get
so lucky as to
have my inner
ventriloquist doll
insult waitresses
flight attendants
madams at bordellos

And have them all
find it charming
giggling behind
their hands
exchanging glances
and seeing me
in a new light

He is pure id
says what he means
means what he says
doesn't say what
should stay unspoken
and has a mouth
like a sailor

Matter of fact
he just told me
while I was
drinking a nice
twelve ounce glass
of seltzer water
"Why'ncha go fuck yuhself?"