Saturday, February 26, 2005


In blue marker
On loose-leaf paper

Taped to the window
The reason

The laundromat
Was closed yesterday

Today I went
To pick up

Quiet air
About the place

My condolences

To the woman
In red slippers

* * *

Not sure if this is finished or not. Feedback most welcome.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoyed it. Sort of a New York-style haiku about the nuances of urban communication between "strangers" who nevertheless touch each other's lives on a day-to-day basis.

Hope I'm not totally missing the point,

7:45 PM  
Blogger Steve Caratzas said...

Thanks, Lelange. I appreciate your comments. You didn't miss the point, your reading was spot on.

I removed the word "local," which had appeared right before "laundromat," as it seemed unnecessary.

I'm somewhat concerned with "somber" - is it too manipulative a word? Everything else I considered felt worse, so I might just stick with it.

1:11 AM  
Blogger MsHellion said...

I like "quiet" better. Well played.

10:34 AM  
Blogger Steve Caratzas said...

Made a couple more small tweaks, to accentuate the poem's sparseness. Thanks to all for valuable comments and feedback.

10:24 AM  

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