THANK YOU, I THANK YOU

For the opportunities to waste and the little I learned
for the hopeless feeling of never being good enough
for the ray of light that was just a smoldering cigarette
for the fourteen different ways of looking at a blackhead
for the immense sense of invisibility (clothing included)
for the full-priced tickets to Celine Dion
for the mere mention of the word "flatulence"
for the umpteen apologies that ultimately meant nothing
for the hope of resurrection but nothing to wear
for the hype of recognition but nothing to fear
for the type of desolation that's anything but dear
for the free sample of chewing gum
for the card advertising the exclusive Gentlemen's Escape Club
for reminding me I am anything but a gentleman
for reminding me I have to escape
for reminding me to find myself a good, stout club
for the way you say chocolate chaud
for the dream of yesterday's recollection of a better tomorrow today
for the rice
for the krill
for the pencil lead (technically graphite)
for the papyrus
for the Diet Mt Dew
for the admonition: "don't!"