NOW THAT MY NIGHTLIFE DAYS HAVE DIED

for Alisha Wheatley

I’m suddenly concerned
That this decade of sobriety
Has been just
A different brand of episode.
I’ve hit my knees
And asked you, quietly,
For some guidance
Here and there.
Asked you to be kind
To Mammaw,
And wondered why
You wouldn’t let her
Stay a little longer.
I asked to be forgiven,
And to be a little sweeter
To the sour
You keep feeding me.

I’ve always considered myself
A long-term player;
Which is convenient—
My short-term has been
Largely laughable.
When I hear about
The latest tsunami,
Vehicular manslaughter,
Snapped shoelace or
Umpteenth beheading,
I see you, clearer:
The man behind the curtain.
Despite a lifetime
Of anger and incredulity,
I go quiet inside
Considering your great works.
I am paying attention.