The Blog of Lewd Enlightenment

8-word poem: The 2011 Story

2011-01-02T01:03:00.001-05:00

2011:
The Year
Of The Next
Right Thing.

8-word poem: THE JUNK MAIL VARIATIONS

2010-06-15T11:07:00.000-04:00

COPS are NEEDED!
Get Scholarships
for your training!

8-word poem: THE JUNK MAIL VARIATIONS

2010-06-11T09:24:00.000-04:00

At Accidents.com
You Get
the Right Lawyer
Fast

8-word poem: THE JUNK MAIL VARIATIONS

2010-06-10T09:21:00.001-04:00

You too
may qualify
for compensation
from BP

8-word poem: THE JUNK MAIL VARIATIONS

2010-06-07T10:23:00.001-04:00

Were You
Injured
on a
Ship or Boat?

8-word poem: THE JUNK MAIL VARIATIONS

2010-06-04T18:48:00.000-04:00

Art School
Your Creative Genius
Can Pay Off

8-word poem: THE JUNK MAIL VARIATIONS

2010-05-30T21:54:00.000-04:00

Get Your
Freedom Back
With A Power Wheelchair!

8-word poem: THE CONVERSATION WITH BUGENHAGEN STORY

2010-05-27T16:11:00.001-04:00

But what if
you're wrong?

I'M NOT WRONG!

8-word poem: THE JUNK MAIL VARIATIONS

2010-05-21T10:38:00.000-04:00

The Invisible Solution
To A Naturally Perky Look

8-word poem: THE JUNK MAIL VARIATIONS

2010-05-20T16:07:00.000-04:00

Tires, Tires, Tires...
Get the New Tires
Already!

8-word poem: THE JUNK MAIL VARIATIONS

2010-05-19T16:05:00.000-04:00

Plumpy
im big and curvy-
wanna meet me?

8-word poem

2010-05-14T11:50:00.001-04:00

If you're not
Feeling shame
You're not
Alive.

8-word poem

2010-05-05T15:45:00.001-04:00

She shoots me
A look
Of piercing
Disgust.

8-word poem

2010-04-30T18:14:00.002-04:00

I'm seeing
The Human Centipede
Because
I can.

8-word poem: THE I STOLE THIS BECAUSE I NEED TO REMEMBER IT STORY

2010-04-23T17:53:00.001-04:00

My Religion is simple;
My Religion is kindness.

—The Dalai Lama

8-word poem

2010-04-20T08:39:00.000-04:00

Picasso—
Barely time
To leave
A chair assprint.

8-word poem: THE RUSSIAN KID GETS RETURNED TO THE ORPHANAGE SOLO STORY

2010-04-14T11:32:00.002-04:00

Back
To the land
Of paint-chipped
Crib bars.

8-word poem: THE NEW GUY WE HARDLY KNEW YE STORY

2010-04-13T15:37:00.000-04:00

Sadly,
The milk
Lasted longer
Than Picasso.
Next!

8-word poem: THE WHEN I SAW A WOMAN AT WORK WEARING A RED AND WHITE PLAID SHIRT AND FADED JEANS I FELT LIKE THIS STORY

2010-04-09T13:56:00.005-04:00

I'm gonna
Do-si-do
All the way
To pee.

8-word poem: THE NOTES ON THE NEW GUY WHO WILL SOON BE THE EX-GUY STORY

2010-04-08T13:24:00.000-04:00

they clean up
that puke
in picasso's alley?

* * *

By Matt Kenney

8-word poem: THE IS THS ROTTEN TOMATOES CALIBER WRITING STORY

2010-04-07T15:20:00.001-04:00

gives reason
to give
giving reasons
to embrace!

* * *

By Jake Duffy

8-word poem

2010-04-06T10:37:00.002-04:00

Scent:
It can
Make
Or break
A moment.

8-word poem: THE REALITY FINALLY SETS IN STORY

2010-04-05T09:49:00.000-04:00

Which one
Of us
Is any less
Damned?

8-word poem

2010-04-04T22:56:00.001-04:00

With the wind
Comes a story
Of tomorrow.

8-word poem

2010-04-03T10:20:00.000-04:00

What exactly
Did we
Think
We were
Doing?

8-word poem

2010-04-02T20:44:00.000-04:00

Oh hell
I forgot
To call
Your name.

8-word poem

2010-04-01T07:33:00.000-04:00

I am going
To make
Beautiful music
Someday.

8-word poem

2010-03-31T10:43:00.000-04:00

Grey bangs
And a medallion:
There's my
Future.

8-word poem

2010-03-30T10:17:00.000-04:00

An act
Of kindness
Will not
Kill you.

8-word poem

2010-03-29T11:58:00.001-04:00

Still waters
Run deep;
Deep waters
Still run.

8-word poem

2010-03-27T23:12:00.001-04:00

Love
Is the way
And the only
Way.

8-word poem

2010-03-25T16:02:00.002-04:00

This thing
They call
Love—
You're buying
It?

8-word poem

2010-03-23T13:28:00.000-04:00

Because
I was
Already
In love with
You.

8-word poem: THE LET'S GET THIS RIGHT STORY

2010-03-21T20:02:00.003-04:00

Be kind,
For everyone
You meet
Is fighting
~~A hard battle~~.

—~~Plato~~Steve Caratzas

8-word poem

2010-03-20T20:24:00.001-04:00

Think
The pen
Is filled
With poison
Ink.

8-word poem

2010-03-18T15:02:00.000-04:00

You
Broke my heart
Betsy
From Des Moines.

8-word poem: THE THERE GOES THAT IDEA STORY

2010-03-17T19:35:00.001-04:00

But
He just
Kind of bitches
All day.

8-word poem: THE OLIVER PRANCER TINKER STORY

2010-03-14T17:55:00.002-04:00

Endless hours
Of love
And joy.
That's Oliver!

8-word poem

2010-03-09T22:02:00.000-05:00

Just another
Suffering bastard
Trying to
Get by.

8-word poem: THE UNABLE TO FIND TONY RANDALL'S GRAVE STORY

2010-03-07T19:46:00.002-05:00

I thought
There'd be
A white hankie
Flying.

8-word poem

2010-03-06T18:50:00.002-05:00

Just enough pain
To make life
Sweetly unbearable.

8-word poem: THE WHAT IS THE GREATEST WORK OF ART OF THE 21ST CENTURY SO FAR? STORY

2010-03-05T13:31:00.002-05:00

"The Thong Song"
Or
"Hey Ya!"
You decide.

8-word poem

2010-03-04T18:34:00.000-05:00

This is it
The most
Of the least.

8-word poem

2010-02-19T23:29:00.000-05:00

I'm
Remembering
The Day
The Music
Took Ill.

8-word poem

2010-02-17T15:34:00.001-05:00

So sorry
I am such
An impatient dick.

8-word poem: THE USELESSNESS OF IT ALL BUT YOU HAVE TO TRY ANYWAY STORY

2010-02-11T16:43:00.001-05:00

Sincerely
Do I
Protest
Against the
Indifferent
Wind.

8-word poem: THE I WISH I'D WRITTEN THIS STORY

2010-02-07T13:02:00.003-05:00

Look at yourself
Look at yourself
Yeah yeah

8-word poem: THE CONQUISTADOR MONDEGREEN STORY

2010-02-01T23:59:00.000-05:00

Like a
C note
Makes you feel
Fine.

8-word poem

2010-01-25T23:02:00.000-05:00

I pray
Half a pill
Times two
Works.

8-word poem

2010-01-24T19:16:00.001-05:00

How
The flame
Follows you
Around
The room.

8-word poem

2010-01-21T08:08:00.001-05:00

Second year
Of the rest
Of my
Life.

* * *

For SLY-C

8-word poem

2010-01-20T11:17:00.000-05:00

Have a
Happy Birthday,
Wherever you are,
Daughter.

8-word poem

2010-01-17T23:59:00.000-05:00

Wow,
I get tomorrow
Off!
So sorry,
Dad.

8-word poem: THE THEY SERIOUSLY ASKED THIS DOUCHE TO HELP FIX HAITI STORY

2010-01-16T23:28:00.002-05:00

W.'s
Big chance
To forget
Katrina
Ever happened.

8-word poem: THE JIMMY KIMMEL AS JAY LENO STORY

2010-01-14T22:32:00.002-05:00

Newthpaperth
Are rife with
Miththpellingth,
They really are.

8-word poem

2010-01-12T23:59:00.000-05:00

Jay Leno:
The hot potato
Of late night.

8-word poem

2010-01-11T23:55:00.000-05:00

Another
Course correction
In the
Everything
Of life.

8-word poem

2010-01-10T23:53:00.001-05:00

Destroying
Innocent minds,
One day
At a time.

8-word poem: THE I CAN'T EARN A LIVABLE WAGE, BUT SERIES: 1

2010-01-07T09:34:00.000-05:00

I can spot
A toupee
At twenty paces.

8-word poem

2010-01-05T10:01:00.000-05:00

I don't care
One way
Or the other.

8-word poem

2010-01-04T09:59:00.001-05:00

My new mantra:
"Well, I'm
A bastard, too."

I GOT NUTHIN'

2010-01-03T20:39:00.000-05:00

And you're probably better off.

Twitter

2010-01-01T19:21:00.003-05:00

I've been on Twitter (is that the correct construction? on Twitter?) for a short while - and after a few Tweets, I think they're called, I kind of abandoned it.

But for good reason: I truly believe that in order to fully utilize something like Twitter one needs to have instantaneous access to the Internet - which I don't.

It seems to me the whole thing is designed to be instant. You see someting interesting, think something weird, do something new, and then you let everyone else in on it, right then and there. Not three hours later.

But since I don't want to let the technology just slip away from me (I'm no quitter!), I am embarking on a project for 2010 - a piece of performance art, if you will. I am going to attempt to Tweet once each day of 2010 and utilize all 140 characters that I am permitted in each Tweet.

One Tweet per day, 140 characters. That's the plan.

8-word poem

2009-12-31T23:02:00.001-05:00

Farewell 2009!
May history
Judge you less
Harshly.

iTuneage - recent baker's dozen

2009-12-30T18:16:00.003-05:00

1. "New World Windows" - Diablo Swing Orchestra
2. "Siboney" - The Hellbenders
3. "The Glory Stompers" - Davie Allan & The Arrows
4. "Ramblin" - Ornette Coleman
5. "Clive And The Lyre" - The Assemble Head In Sunburst Sound
6. "Harborcoat" (Live At the Olympia) - R.E.M.
7. "Can't Get Enough of You" - Moose
8. "God Luck And Good Speed" - Weedeater
9. "Whole Lotta Losin'" - Monsters of Folk
10. "Det Som En Gang Var" - Burzum
11. "Leaves And Sand" - The Boo Radleys
12. "Exploding Head" - A Place To Bury Strangers
13. "Last Train To Satansville" - Swervedriver

8-word poem

2009-12-29T16:52:00.000-05:00

Are you
As bored
Of me
As me?

8-word poem

2009-12-27T19:35:00.001-05:00

A new era
Is dawning;
I am
Ready.

8-word poem: THE SELF-PORTRAIT IN TINSEL STORY

2009-12-22T19:12:00.001-05:00

It's the time
Of the season
For reflection.

8-word poem

2009-12-20T22:20:00.001-05:00

You get stuck.
You get unstuck.
Rinse, repeat.

8-word poem: THE DIS ISS THE BESHT CHRISS-MISS EVER, NOT! STORY

2009-12-16T20:16:00.001-05:00

Happy Holidays
From the
Time and focus
Committee.

8-word poem

2009-12-15T21:27:00.001-05:00

I don't know
Where we
Went wrong,
But.

8-word poem: THE LIFE IS SHORT SO HURRY UP STORY

2009-12-14T07:23:00.000-05:00

Like a day
At the peep show:
Leisurely.

8-word poem: THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE REHAB STORY

2009-12-13T19:19:00.002-05:00

"Bashterdzzz...
Fuckin' fire me
Before CHRISS-MISS!
Those fuckerzzz..."

* * *

Verbatim dialogue direct from my imagination.

8-word poem

2009-12-12T23:59:00.000-05:00

It's time
To put away
Those childish
Things.

8-word poem: THE SO YOU SAY SOMEONE'S BEEN FIRED STORY

2009-12-10T17:33:00.002-05:00

Well not
Horribly
In shock,
I was
Busy.

* * *

Inspired by real-life events!

8-word poem

2009-12-07T10:15:00.000-05:00

I've had
To learn
To not
Look back.

* * *

For Red Pine.

8-word poem: THE ABSURD STORY

2009-12-04T18:35:00.001-05:00

No rational
Or orderly
Relationship to
Human life.

8-word poem: THE CAT IS REALLY MAN'S BEST FRIEND STORY

2009-12-02T23:59:00.000-05:00

They don't bark
And sometimes
They don't bite.

8-word poem: THE IN PRAISE OF HER MIGHTY AWESOMENESS STORY

2009-11-29T14:01:00.001-05:00

She taught me
How to
Wash my
Ass.

8-word poem: THE THANKSGIVING HANGOVER STORY

2009-11-28T23:25:00.001-05:00

So much
To be
Thankful for:
Look, pie!

* * *

Inspired by Ben Mirov.

8-word poem: THE FOURTH THURSDAY IN NOVEMBER STORY (2009 EDITION)

2009-11-25T15:23:00.001-05:00

I still hate
Those stupid
Big-ass pilgrim
Buckles.

8-word poem: THE PROSTATE EXAM STORY

2009-11-24T13:01:00.001-05:00

Last time
He gave me
A tissue
Afterward.

8-word poem

2009-11-22T19:00:00.001-05:00

A Bad Lieutenant
Beats a
Halfway decent
Sergeant.

8-word poem

2009-11-19T13:29:00.000-05:00

Employee Self Assessment:
Managed
To not get
Fired.

8-word poem

2009-11-18T20:48:00.001-05:00

Nose pimple:
Fully
In keeping
With my
Sonofabitchitude.

8-word poem: THE SHOEGAZE STORY

2009-11-15T22:54:00.001-05:00

That guitar
Isn't
Just going
To play
Itself.

8-word poem

2009-11-14T23:59:00.000-05:00

Sometimes
A cigar
Is just
An 8-word poem.

8-word poem: THE IT DOESN'T REALLY COUNT AS STEALING IF IT'S BOB DYLAN STORY

2009-11-12T10:52:00.001-05:00

Precious angel
Shine your light
On me

Please

8-word poem: THE APROPOS OF NOTHING STORY

2009-11-11T17:01:00.001-05:00

I do
Believe
I am one
Bitter fuck.

* * *

Thank you to Matt Kenney.

8-word poem

2009-11-10T22:59:00.001-05:00

Sometimes
"Fuck you"
Is the only
Appropriate
Response.

8-word poem: THE IT WAS 20 YEARS AGO TODAY THAT I MADE YET ANOTHER HEINOUS BUSINESS DECISION STORY

2009-11-08T18:11:00.003-05:00

No wonder
German cinder blocks
Were so
Cheap.

8-word poem: THE CAPT. BARRY B. BRIDGER STORY

2009-11-07T13:36:00.001-05:00

Googling the officer
Whose POW bracelet
I wore.

8-word poem: THE SELF-PORTAIT IN A DENTED TRUMPET STORY

2009-11-05T23:59:00.001-05:00

I wanna be
Pot-smoking
Tattoo-wearing
Mullet-headed
Jager-tossing
Cool.

8-word poem

2009-11-03T23:08:00.001-05:00

She carries
The sky;
Each day:
My light.

* * *

For SLY-C

8-word poem: THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN 2009 STORY

2009-11-01T12:37:00.001-05:00

I see
Whoppers
In my
Reese's Pieces
Feces.

8-word poem: THE HALLOWEEN 2009 STORY

2009-10-31T22:51:00.002-04:00

Year's scariest
Costume:
Still life with
Electric truss.

8-word poem: THE NOW ALL MY NIGHTMARES HAVE COME TRUE TOO STORY

2009-10-29T22:19:00.001-04:00

Saw
Looked away
Quickly
Won't ever
Forget
It.

8-word poem

2009-10-28T23:07:00.001-04:00

Heavy is
The head
That wears
Prince Albert.

8-word poem

2009-10-27T11:48:00.001-04:00

Please open
Another door,
God,
This one's
Slamming.

8-word poem

2009-10-26T23:26:00.000-04:00

Understanding life:
I'm still
Waiting
For the
Subtitles.