Hudson River Haiku

"Give me the high seas,
Give me the salty water."
Call me Shemp Howard.

* * *

5.30.07
8:28 a.m.
approaching Marble Hill station

8-word poem

There is
A certain despair
There,
Oddly satisfying.

iTuneage - recent baker's dozen

1. "Are You Sincere" - Trini Lopez
2. "Rock 'n Roll Band" - Boston
3. "Rumbleseat" - John Mellencamp
4. "Almost Ready" - Dinosaur Jr.
5. "Livin' On A Prayer" - Bon Jovi
6. "Kingdom Hall" - Van Morrison
7. "Chick Habit" - April March
8. "Fruit Tree" - Nick Drake
9. "Stand In The Fire" - Warren Zevon
10. "Skin & Bone" - The Kinks
11. "Come Together" - Primal Scream
12. "Inertia Creeps" - Massive Attack
13. "Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes" - Paul Simon

8-word poem

When the pens
All run dry—
We win!

8-word poem: THE RELATIONSHIPS ARE LIKE BREAKFAST STORY

How do you
Like your eggs?

Over.

Easy.

Hudson River Haiku

Heinous things today—
Those shoes, particularly—
Thank God for eyelids.

* * *

5.10.07
8:57 a.m.
approaching Yonkers station

8-word poem

Squandering
Your tomorrows
And crying
About it
Today.

8-word poem

An educated person
Knows the Bible:
"Jesus wept."

8-word poem

An uncapped pen
Is the writer's
Best friend.

8-word poem

Dying
As if
My life
Depended
On it.

8-word poem: THE JUNK MAIL VARIATIONS

Save money
And time
Buying Super Viagra
Online.

8-word poem

Old
In the way
Out of Touch
Finished

Hudson River Haiku

Wind fanning the trees—
Figuring the river's depth—
Those cliffs: a sheer drop.

* * *

5.22.07
8:48 a.m.
Hastings-on-Hudson station

Steakbellie Takes a Bite Out of the Big Apple

Yesterday blog worlds briefly collided, as an invite from Steakbellie had me witness to the TripRewards Ultimate Hot Wing Eating Championship held in NYC's Grand Central Terminal. The event was hosted by Kenan Thompson of "Saturday Night Live" and Nickelodeon's "All That." Kenan, whose participation added much to the proceedings, is a humble and friendly guy - indulging an awestruck fan for a picture and a hearty handclasp.

Security was tight, as would befit such a spectacle. The massed throngs crowding Vanderbilt Hall, continually on the verge of hysteria, somehow maintained a humane dignity during the course of the contest. A fearsome and humorless guard was given responsibility for maintaining order, stationed adjacent to a symbolic tray of hot wings.

This event attracted seven luminaries of the world of competitive eating: In addition to Steakbellie, who holds the 39th slot in the worldwide rankings of competitive eaters, the participants included: Crazy Legs Conti (pictured in furry hat - and ranked #11), Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas (ranked #4), Joey "JAWS" Chestnut (ranked #2), Tim "Eater X" Janus (ranked #7, and roommate of Crazy Legs Conti - according to the press handout), Steakbellie's pal Micah "Wing Kong" Collins (ranked #43), and the 20-year-old "rookie upstart from Philadelphia" Pete Miernicki.

Lest you think this is all fun and games, let me assure you: these competitors take their eating very seriously. Witness Steakbellie's meditative state (left) as he gets into the competitive eating zone, focusing all his energy on the task soon to be at hand. I was able to meet him very briefly before the eating commenced, but I was careful to not intrude on his pre-food meditation. Clearly, much preparation goes into these events, to say nothing of the careful accessorizing of outfits and choice of accoutrements.

Once the carnage is over, a relieved group of participants surveys the damage from the stage, formulating plans for the next big eat off (left to right: Steakbellie, Wing Kong and Eater X).

8-word poem

Anytime I think
I can't,
I stop thinking.

8-word poem

The foundation
For greatness
Needs time
To set.

8-word poem

You already swallowed
The poison
Meant for me.

8-word poem: THE JUNK MAIL VARIATIONS

Watch
Photo album
Of a dirty family
Orgy.

Hudson River Haiku

My eyes deceive me.
River flowing upriver.
Back from whence it came.

* * *

5.15.07
8:26 a.m.
Hastings-on-Hudson station

8-word poem: THE WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS STORY, PART 3

So much
Depends
On a pair of
Depends.

TO DON'T:

overreact
cry
skip lunch
vomit
lie
drink
die

8-word poem

I'm concerned
About the limits
Of your imagination.

8-word poem

Life is
Unreasonable—
And that's
The good news.

8-word poem: THE 100 YARD DASH IN 11.0 SECONDS STORY

I can't
Stand
Not knowing you
Any longer.

8-word poem

Home:
The place
Where the heart
Is content.

* * *

For Joanne Kyger.

8-word poem: THE JUNK MAIL VARIATIONS

Steve,
Please heed
The wolf's call
For help.

8-word poem

What kind of person
Writes poems,
Achieves success?

I Just Remembered...

...Dover.

The cliffs white, just like they say.

Hudson River Haiku

If you're in the front
You might be shit out of luck;
Move to the last car.

* * *

5.02.07
9:00 a.m.
approaching Harlem - 125th Street station

Hudson River Haiku

Listening for peace
Within the quietude now—
I can hear it here.

* * *

5.08.07
8:55 a.m.
approaching Yonkers station

8-word poem

I still
Haven't
Made up my mind,
Somehow.

8-word poem

How things are
And how
They must be.

8-word poem

My prescription:
You better
Get up
And dance.

Hudson River Haiku

Sun casts long shadow—
Fright wig silhouette stares back—
Find a new stylist.

* * *

5.04.07
8:41 a.m.
Hastings-on-Hudson station

8-word poem

We've only just
Begun—
To figure this
Out.

8-word poem

A hint
In the rose garden,
Boxcar bluish.

8-word poem

There may be
Panic
But no
Cross words.

8-word poem

The Buddha
In the
Rear view mirror,
Winking.

8-word poem

All great poets
Are allergic
To silence.

Hudson River Haiku

If I were a bird,
I could soar over water,
My wings reflected.

* * *

5.01.07
9:57 a.m.
approaching Greystone Station

HOW E-ZPASS RUINED MY DYING IN A HAIL OF GUNFIRE AT A TOLLBOOTH À LA SONNY CORLEONE FANTASY

Dying is
Never easy.

8-word poem

Grace:
A dish
Best served
Warm
And often.

* * *

For Steakbellie.

Ear Inn

My second reading for the month of April (both the cruelest month, according to T.S. Eliot and National Poetry Month: discuss) happened this past Saturday (4/28/07) at the fabled Ear Inn. In the photo at right are Justin Orfanella, who read a collaborative piece with his father, Lou Orfanella, Ear Inn host Michael Broder, yours truly, and Noah Gershman.

Thanks to Noah, an extremely talented and fascinating poet, the joint was packed. The work of all the readers was well-received by the engaged and erudite crowd. One exiting listener - clad in a hooded parka and what looked like an urban sombrero (note: the outdoor temperature was in the 70s) - stopped to give me a hearty handclasp and say something along the lines of "Kudos." Definitely my type of acknowledgement, brief and to the point. And then just like that he vanished out into the balmy street.

My brother Chris also attended, making him but only the second blood relative to ever hear me read my poetry. My son Reed holds the distinction of being the first, as he was in attendance at The Cornelia Street Cafe last week for my reading in celebration of the release of issue #7 of Terra Incognita.

So far, there have been no interventions or attempts to have me committed to a nut house.

(Photo by MsAPhillips)

8-word poem

All of my
Limitations,
Roughly translated:
Tough shit.